Dad's at Peace

On Wednesday evening we saw Dad take a turn towards the true final stages of his journey. When Beth had gone back to the hospital around 9 o'clock she was alarmed when she walked in the room to see that he was not breathing. However he had slipped back into the stage of where there are regular periods when he didn't breath for 30 seconds at a time. (this had happened the previous Saturday but he transitioned back to regular breathing on the Sunday and was a ittle more aware and responsive for the next few days, though not eating).

Beth felt that it may be our last opportunity to be with Dad so all of our children were able to come up to the hospital and Mom was with us as well, coming right over after her dialysis treatment. It was a special time and we were so grateful how it had all worked out for us to be together - Alison had come down from Barrie that day because she was taking a course this week, and Joel had just arrived back from a visit to Nova Scotia the day before.

Beth and I took turns staying with Dad during the night, reading Scripture and singing, and Mom came back a bit later in the morning. Dad was mostly unresponsive but we believe he was hearing all the words of love that we expressed to him. He continued his breathing pattern of 30 seconds of apnea and then laboured breathing for a minute or so. I was spending the afternoon at the hospital when Mom and Dad's pastor came by in the afternoon. Pastor Richard and I had a wonderful time of sharing, including great stories of how Dad had been such a positive influence on so many people over his life.

Mom came back about 5 o'clock and Pastor Richard stayed with her while Beth and I went home for supper. He called just after 6 to let us know that Dad had passed so our family headed back up to be with them. Mom said that her and Richard had been singing hymns to Dad when he took his final breath.

Dad passed away almost exactly 3 weeks after Beth and I had taken him into the hospital. We consider it a great blessing that the time from his cancer diagnosis to his passing was really quite brief. The care he received at St. Mary's Hospital was exceptional and we are so thankful for the staff there. With Beth's many years of nursing there (and my few years as a medical attendant at the beginning of our marriage), and living almost right beside it, St. Mary's has always felt like 'our hospital' so it was very meaningful to share these last days with Dad in this special place.

Details for visitation and funeral are being finalized today but we have decided to have visitation at the Henry Walser Funeral Home on Sunday evening and the service will be on Monday at St. Stephen's Lutheran Church (12:00 Noon).

Thanks once again for your prayers and support through this time.

The Final Stretch?

If the last couple of days are an indication then it seems we are likely entering into Dad's final days. As the week progressed his periods of conscious interaction with us have begun to decrease. Thursday evening his spirits rallied briefly when our granddaughter Lindsay was up for a visit with her "Papa Moe" (the photo here though was from Tuesday). He was originally scheduled for a radiation treatment this week but it was cancelled as his condition was deteriorating. Dad really hasn't had much to eat at all over the last couple of days. On Friday papers were signed to get him on a waiting list for a palliative care facility in the area.

With the changes we were seeing in Dad's condition, Beth and I decided it was best not to go up to our church camp as had been planned. We've been very grateful for Mom's sisters and brother in laws coming down to help be with her this week, along with driving her to the hospital.

Everyone in our family is obviously finding this a difficult time, but we take comfort in knowing that he is definitely ready to let go of this life, looking forward to the life to come. The care at St. Mary's has been phenomenal and for the most part Dad is resting comfortably.

Further Details About Dad

Thanks to everyone who has shown support for us during this time. We certainly appreciate your expressions of kindness and even silent prayers that have gone up on Dad's behalf.

The doctors feel that the primary site for the cancer is in the lung. The mass there is about 6cm x 5cm x 4cm (so quite significant). They believe that the cancer has then spread to form a tumour on his spine.

For much of the past week Dad has been pretty heavily sedated. On Monday this was because of the need to have him lay still for a radiation treatment. He was taken over to the Cancer Centre at Grand River Hospital and they were successful in giving the radiation. However, because he had difficulty being still on Sunday they opted to give him one larger (weekly) dose of radiation instead of the 5 daily doses they had originally planned. The radiation oncologist said this would equal about 80% of the radiation he would have gotten over the 5 day treatment.

On Tuesday he was also sedated more because he went back over to Grand River for an MRI of his spine so that they could have a more accurate picture of the tumour there. That was able to be done as well but it didn't really result in a lot more information regarding treatment.

On Wednesday Dad was much more awake and aware but this lead to him also being more anxious and confused. Beth, Mom, or myself tried to be with him most of the time but if he was left alone it seemed he forgot almost right away that we had been there and expressed to someone in a neighbouring bed that he couldn't understand why he was there. Dad has pulled out his IV site and his name band several times this week. If he was able to move his legs I'm sure he'd be trying to get out of bed as well. Fortunately he has slept pretty soundly each night. As well, we're thankful that he doesn't seem to be in very much pain.

Thursday was the day scheduled for a biopsy of the tumour in his lung, so he was again pretty drowsy for most of the day. The material they gathered from his lung will be sent off for testing (which will take up to a week) to determine the exact form of cancer they are looking at. However, this morning the doctor talked with us and said that he thinks it could be quite likely that the Cancer Centre will recommend that Dad not go ahead with chemotherapy treatment for the lung cancer. This is mostly based on his Alzheimer's diagnosis and the fact that he has been deteriorating physically.

We're grateful for Mom's sisters, who are coming down this coming week to provide extra support. Beth and I had been planning to go to our church camp next week and take along our granddaughter Lindsay for her first experience there. We'll have to see if that is still possible. I just got back from sitting with Dad for an hour (Friday afternoon) and he slept most of that time.

If anyone nearby wants to visit Dad (no pressure at all, I only include this for those who might already have been thinking about it) it might help to know that Mom is there most days at lunch and dinner times. Also, if you don't mind walking up the street, you can park in front of our house (57 Patricia) for free - you just need to grab one of the passes from our mailbox and hang it from your rear view mirror.

Thanks again for your care and concern!

An Update on My Dad

Well, Dad ended up in St. Marys hospital on Thursday (August 9) because he was having trouble walking, which was unusual. He'd been complaining about more back pain the last couple of weeks but we figured that was just more of his chronic back problems. However, when they did testing in the hospital they discovered cancer in his spine, as well as a mass in his lungs. 

We didn't tell him of the cancer right away and yesterday (Saturday) he seemed comfortable and was even smiling and joking a bit. I think it helped that mom was able to be there for a couple stretches of time (and pain medication helps too).

Today (Sunday August 12), however, was not so good.

Beth spent most of the day with Dad. We got a call after 9:00 saying that:

- dad had been awake and agitated most of the night, and had pulled out his IV site twice

- the doctor felt there was further deterioration of his ability to move his legs, so he wanted to get him in for a radiation treatment at Grand River today

When Beth got there Dad settled some, and he was also given some sedating medication. His bladder was full but he didn't seem able to urinate so they put in a catheter.

When they went over to Grand River he was not settled enough to have the radiation. They tried more medications but even after 3 hours he would not be able to lay still for any treatment. Of course, when they got back to St. Marys he was out like a light and Beth says he'll probably sleep all evening and night now.

They have booked to try again tomorrow morning at 11:30. They will need to coordinate giving him enough drugs so that he will be basically sleeping for this. 

In some ways it's difficult to know how to react to this cancer diagnosis - with Dad's memory loss and his desire to go home to heaven (which he's been expressing pretty regularly for a few years now) it's hard to see this as a tragedy. However we could have a tough road ahead of us. So far, mom is holding up pretty well. She has been driving over to the hospital but then needs help getting up to the floor as it's a long walk. She uses a wheelchair and then one of us takes her car down to our house to park it.

We appreciate your prayers and will keep you updated,

Terry